Eliminate All Mother-in-Law Arguments with Your Husband

This is another Guest Post by Sally Shields “The In-Law Expert!”

1) Never Complain About Your mother-in-law to Your Husband

I did this for a few years and this simply does not work! As tempting as it may be, strive to never put your husband in the middle – he will not appreciate being asked to take sides, may or may not defend you, and you will end up feeling far worse than before.

DIL Tip: Call your best girlfriend or your own mother, but make sure that your husband is not within earshot. He does not like the thought of you talking about his mother (or any family arguments) in a derogatory way to anyone. It may not seem fair, but this is how he feels so it’s best to not let him overhear you discussing anything to do with his mother’s latest interesting take on the state of your domain!

2. Never Let Your Husband Catch You Imitating your Mother-in-law’s Voice

Although this is something that I’m sure many women all over the world have done in order to diffuse some of the tension that they might be feeling over an unwanted comment, unsolicited advice or some other remark that might be foreign to your sensitivity palette, make sure that your husband does not catch you doing the deed.

DIL Tip: You beloved will simply not find humor in it, and you may end up in yet another argument which is what you are striving to avoid at all costs! If you must, sign up for that Tuesday night comedy improve class you’ve always wanted to take, and imitate away! But try to avoid the English accent, if at all possible.

3. Save all your gripes for your trusty I.N.C.S. for D.I.L.Z. template.

Simply Identify the problem, Note what was done or said, Create a rule title, and Set up a solution for those Daughter-In-Law Zings that come hurtling your way at every possible moment!

DIL Tip: Jot ‘em down and have some fun creating a personalized set of rules customized for your very own mother-in-law. You will be amazed when you start putting them into action, just how effective your own rules can be for drastically reducing those D.I.L.Z., and you might even begin to enjoy creating your very own Daughter-in-Law Rules book. It’s fun once you get the hang of it and you might even be surprised when you end up having a genuine like for one-another!

Please visit Sally “The In-Law Expert” Shields, speaker and author of The Daughter-in-Law Rules on the web at www.TheDILRules.com for contest giveaways, free bonus gifts,The DIL Rules newsletter, free music … and more!

To have Sally speak at your next event, call (718) 543-5524 or email sally@theDILRules.com

Creating Peace at Home

This is a Guest Post by Sally Shields who is a Speaker, Radio Personality and International Media Specialist #1 Amazon.com Bestseller of The DAUGHTER-IN-LAW Rules http://www.theDILRules.com

53% of all married women describe their relationships with their mothers in law as obligatory, cordial but nothing more, reporting a mix of both anxiety and tension. Here is a small parable to illustrate this point, and a philosophy to adopt to make a shift in the paradigm.

Story of a Daughter-in-law, Li Li

A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many of her constant criticisms. Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's dictatorship any longer, so she went to see an herbalist and asked if he would give her some poison. Mr. Huang said, "Li-Li, every other day prepare some delicious meal and sprinkle some on her plate. And when she is dying, be careful to obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen."

In a few months' time, the mother-in-law's attitude towards Li-Li changed drastically, and they were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. And Li-Li's husband was very happy to see the two most important women in his life finally getting along.

One day, Li-Li went to see the herbalist. "Dear Mr. Huang, please provide an antidote to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law, as she's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her as if she were my very own mother." Mr. Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, you have nothing to worry about, as the herbs I provided were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude, but that has been all washed away by all the love and respect which you gave her."

The trick is to really and truly learn to appreciate your mother-in-law. And although there will always be problems because of a general lack of commonalities, goals and cultural pursuits, one just sort of has to give up that fantasy and let your MIL be herself. We must try to always give our mothers-in-law the benefit of the doubt, and put our stubborn natures aside, generously sharing her son and the kids happily for the short time we have to be with her.

Creating increased feelings of warmth among in-laws helps foster familial ties, which creates pride and loyalty. The benefits of a caring family go beyond tangible outcomes and serve to strengthen our communities, provide for needs, and increase our sense of well-being. I leave you with this wish: that you may develop a respectful and loving relationship with your MIL and learn to appreciate her for who she is, where she came from and what she is to become. Take heed to one of the great spiritual laws of success: The quickest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. Be a loving, kind, generous, openhearted, sensitive person and the world will reflect that back to you-even in the form of your mother-in-law-and she may just surprise you and turn out to be an ally and a friend. Mine certainly did!

Please visit Sally, speaker, radio personality, free publicity specialist and author of the #1 Amazon.com bestseller, The Daughter-in-Law Rules on the web at: http://www.thedilrules.com
for contest giveaways, free bonus gifts, Sally's newsletter, free music, ... and more!

Save Your Marriage At All Costs

Every individual dreams about the happy and long-lasting married life. However, after a cheerful start of married life, there may be rise of some conflicts and bitterness. The couple starts to fight with each other for simple reasons. Sometimes the bitterness crosses the limits of tolerance and both the partners find it difficult to live with each other.

As a result, they tend to think of getting separated. Before taking any final decision, you should think about the consequences of separation. If you realize the importance of marriage, you may think wisely to save your marriage at all costs.

Marriage is considered as a lifelong bond which brings a man and a woman together and makes their relationships strong. It has a great importance in the life of every human being as it gives personal and social stability. Marriage is also necessary to satisfy your emotional and physical needs. In some countries, living a single is not accepted by the society and a person living alone does not get social status. The person having a successful married life gets social prestige. Marriage makes the life of human being a complete one.

It is not easy for a man or a woman to live alone whole life. You need someone to share your feelings, to help and support you through sadness and happiness. It helps the person to come out of hectic lifestyle and enjoy some wonderful moments in the life. It is a pleasant feeling that the person you love the most is always with you.

For the women, it is not just living together, but it offers secure and prestigious status in the society. Besides that, the marriage is also necessary to carry on the lineage of the family. Hence, although there are some problems in your married life, always try to save your marriage at all costs.

Separation may give rise to the personal, psychological and economical problems for both the partners. You may lose your social and economical stability after the separation. In some countries, separation is allowed according to religion. Breaking of a marriage is not good for the sake of children.

Separation of the parents may leave adverse psychological effects on the tender minds of children as they love and need both the parents equally. The children may get mentally and physically disturbed, due to which their future may get spoiled. Hence, you should try to save your marriage at all costs.

Once you decide to save your marriage at all costs, you should work on finding out the ways to resolve the problems in your married life. The first important step that you should take is to find out the reasons of conflicts. When you come to know about that, you can find the solutions and may try various options. You can try to solve the marital problems by talking with each other.

You should express an intense passion for each other because if you are successful in developing love for each other, then other problems can be immediately solved. You may take advice from your friends or family and can take the help of marriage counseling.